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Oliver Buchannon
The Craptain

The CEO of Poop. The Don of Doo-doo. You are what you eat (and poop). #BidetNationalism

Oct 24, 2025

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12 min read

🍲 You Are What You Eat...And Poop 💩

We can talk about what foods to eat all we want, or we can let our sh*t do the talking.

humor

+2

Oct 17, 2025

•

5 min read

💨 The Art Of The Fart 💨

Your farts are talking—are you listening? Let’s break down what gas means for gut health.

humor

+2

Oct 10, 2025

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6 min read

🧻 Is Toilet Paper Actually Cancerous? 💩

Big toilet paper doesn't want you to know this dirty secret...

humor

+2

Oct 3, 2025

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5 min read

🦴 Eat This If You Want To Live (and Poop) 💩

This one food is underrated af.

Sep 26, 2025

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8 min read

🤫 The Dirty Truth About Dishwashers 💩

Dishwashers are very convenient, but there are two big things to keep in mind when using them.

humor

+2

Sep 19, 2025

•

5 min read

✨ Thoughts on Charlie Kirk ✨

If you wanted to hear the PoopMates take on Charlie Kirk, open this.

humor

+2

Sep 12, 2025

•

7 min read

🎥 Naming Your Poop After Movies 🍿

I'm naming the one I took this morning: A Real Pain

humor

Sep 5, 2025

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8 min read

🚬 Nicotine Is Good For You (Disclaimer: Idk Though 🤷‍♂️)

What if I told you nicotine isn't all that bad for you? What if I told you it's actually healthy in moderation?

humor

+2

Aug 29, 2025

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8 min read

🥬 Fermented Foods Are The Sh*t 💩

Learn how fermented foods like kimchi and yogurt can support gut health. They may even be the hero we need in the war against microplastics.

humor

+2

Aug 22, 2025

•

6 min read

✨ Why TF Does Pooping Feel So Good?? (Poophoria) 💩

If you're not looking forward to your daily poopie time, it's time to evaluate your gut health.

humor

+2

Aug 15, 2025

•

9 min read

🥛 Imagine Not Being Able To Tolerate Lactose LOL 🥛

What do you mean you're lactose intolerant? Just tolerate it.

humor

+2

Aug 8, 2025

•

7 min read

✨ IYKYK - Bidet Reviews 🚽

Find me one single review of someone trying a bidet and then deciding that toilet paper is better. I'll wait.

humor

Aug 1, 2025

•

7 min read

💩 Probiotics and Prebiotics: What’s the Difference for Gut Health? 🤔

Everyone knows that probiotics are good for you, but did you know you can make them even better with prebiotics?

humor

+1

Jul 25, 2025

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7 min read

🫐 DINGLEBERRIES: The Epidemic No One Wants to Talk About 🫐

Babe wake up, new toilet paper gaslighting post just dropped

humor

Jul 18, 2025

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6 min read

🛍️ Shopping & Poop: The Mariko Aoki Phenomenon 💩

The sudden urge to defecate while shopping is real and surprisingly common. Here's what we know about the Mariko Aoki Phenomenon.

humor

+3

Jul 11, 2025

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7 min read

💩 Pooping 101: Coffee and Poop ☕

The key to understanding why coffee makes you poop starts in the gut.

humor

+2

Jul 4, 2025

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5 min read

💩 Pooping 101: The Bristol Stool Chart 📊

Not all poop is created equal. Here are the different types and what they mean for gut health.

humor

+1

Jun 27, 2025

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6 min read

💩 Pooping 101: How Often Should You Be Pooping? 🕰️

Poop once, twice, or thrice a day? Let's talk about what's normal and what isn't.

Jun 20, 2025

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7 min read

💩 Pooping 101: Posture 🏋️

Poop like your ancestors did - while squatting.

humor

+2

Jun 13, 2025

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8 min read

☣️ You Don't Hate Glyphosate Enough 😡

Glyphosate is the most widely used pesticide in America, but it's banned or restricted in 12+ countries around the world. Here's why.

humor

+2

Jun 6, 2025

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7 min read

✨ Everything You Need to Know About PFAS ✨

PFAS—aka "forever chemicals"—are everywhere. Here's how they sneak into your gut, mess with your sh*t, and what you can do about it.

humor

+2

May 30, 2025

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10 min read

🧐 The Truth About Seed Oils 🛢️

We all have that one friend that won't stfu about avoiding seed oils. Well it turns out they're right...mostly.

humor

+2

May 23, 2025

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9 min read

💦 Tap Water Is Mid 💦

Just because tap water is free of pathogens doesn't mean it's suitable for drinking. Filter that sh*t, yo!

humor

+2

May 16, 2025

•

6 min read

💊 The Great Probiotic Scam 🦠

Most probiotic pills are expensive 💩. Here’s what actually works.

humor

+2

May 9, 2025

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10 min read

🍽️ The PoopMates Guide to Cookware 🍽️

BM health doesn't start in the bowels, it starts in the kitchen before you even touch your food. Let's break it down.

educational

+1

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